12 Songs by Willie Nelson
by holycitygirl
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the guy she just can't leave behind. A personal challenge to myself to write one chapter for each song on Willie Nelson's album The Great Divide.
1. Maria, Shut up and Kiss me

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer: I own little -and nothing of large monetary value like T70show.  
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit: My muse is sleepy -so I decided to do a little writing exercise to wake it. I'm challenging myself to write a chapter a day using the titles of the 12 songs off Willie Nelson's album The Great Divide. This is an exercise. I hope it turns out entertaining as well. So...moving right along...  
  
Song Cred: The first song is Maria (Shut up and Kiss me). It was written by Rob Thomas (of Matchbox Twenty) for this album.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________  
  
"You can say something with music that you can't say with plain talk. There ain't really no words for love or pain."  
                                                                                                 -Gloria Naylor  
  
"Huh, I finally get country music."   
  
                                                                             -Hyde Nobody's Fault but Mine  
  
___________________________________________________________________________  
  
_That's my favorite part, to rewind my life on  
When my world got dark, and you turned my light on  
I've watched it for hours again and again in my head  
I did  
I see I was down on you, more than I needed to be  
I'd say I'm sorry but then you'd think I'm lying  
  
  
_

_Maria, shut up and kiss me  
Stop shakin, stand up and hold me  
I bet you're gonna miss me  
You need me. Believe me  
Maria, shut up and kiss me  
You're crazy and it turns me on and on  
The way you're carryin on  
  
_

_That's my favorite shirt, you always had on  
Man, it sure looked good, ev'ry time you walked on  
You're takin the wind from me every chance that you could  
You're good  
Somethin I can't explain  
You tell me lately I've changed  
If you feel better tell me why are you cryin?  
  
Maria, shut up and kiss me  
Stop shakin, stand up and hold me  
I bet you're gonna miss me  
You need me. Believe me  
  
Maria, Maria, can't we talk it over instead?  
Let's call it even and leave it alone  
Come to bed  
  
Maria stop leavin your teasin is beatin me down  
Maria just calm down  
In these situations I've found  
It's best not to be proud  
and say that I'm sorry  
_  
___________________________________________________________________________  
  
The funny thing about country music, Hyde discovered, is that it didn't matter if you didn't own a hound dog. Or a pick-up truck. You didn't even have to have a daddy in prison or a momma who got hit by a train. Although, Hyde thought, with his parents it was about as good. Yeah, he probably should have gotten country music a long time ago. But he didn't   
No that was not what Hyde decided made country music powerful. All you really needed was a broken heart. And Steven Hyde had that in spades. He was thoroughly broken and useless. It seemed all he had the energy to do was lay his head back on the couch and let the whiny tones of another world weary son of a bitch wash over him. He felt a kinship with the crooner he would have thought impossible 6 months ago. He'd spent the last 2 weeks listening to this music over and over unable to do anything but work and attempt sleep. And try not to think of Jackie. He didn't want to think about her hair. Or her skin. Or her eyes, especially her eyes. He didn't want to think about how settled they had been. He had been this close to being happy. Happy, man? That was something he just didn't do. He was Hyde, the King of Non-committal. But Jackie had changed all that. And now she was gone.   
  
The funny thing about choosing yourself, Jackie realized, was that you ended up alone. And while alone was great- empowering if you wanted to be Donna about it - it was still lonely. Jackie had spent two weeks lounging by the pool. Seeing little to zip of her mother and missing Steven. She tried not to. Because really he was the last person she wanted to think about. His arms. His voice. And especially his eyes. She didn't want to think about how good they had been. She'd been happy. And for all her trying that was something she didn't accomplish much. Jackie the Queen of Fake Perfection. But Hyde had fixed that. He'd made her happy for real. Just before he made her real sad. Jackie told herself that this is what she needed. A summer away from him. So she could deal with the pain -decide if it was something she wanted to chance feeling again. But as she lounged and missed and listened to the sound of the old couple beside hers country music station -she couldn't take it anymore. She still didn't' t want to see him. But she needed to talk to him. To hear his voice and no that he missed her as well. So she picked up her towel and headed back to her room.   
  
3 rings in he decided that no one else was going to answer the phone. He didn't want to answer but he did.   
  


"Hello?"  
A pause, dead silence -then the voice of the woman he'd been dreaming of since the day she walked out of his life.   
  


"Steven?"  
  


"Jackie." He was beyond shocked.  He didn't think he was going to hear from her this summer.  Not with her "choice".    
  


More silence. "Well now we have established we know each other." Shaky laughs on both ends.  
  


"So how are you doing?"  
  


"Okay. How are you doing?"  
  


This was inane. He decided to not even lie. "Pretty crappy".  
  


"OH? She sounded interested in that. "Why?"  
  


"Come on Jackie - you know why. You gonna make me say it?"  
  


She laughed at that. A sad laugh but an enjoyable one. She was glad that they were at least talking. "I think maybe it is the least you can do."  
  


"I guess that is true." Hyde reached over and turned down the music. "So where should I start? Well least crappy first. Eric and Donna have moved out. They decided to not move out of town yet because of Red -but they aren't around much. Fez is for some reason staying with Laurie -or should that be the opposite?"  
  
"Yeah -Fez is getting a green card and whore lovin. I understand his motivation for marriage."  
  


"Yeah, so no one is around much." He settled in on the couch.  Enjoying the conversation despite its touchy subject matter.  
  


"So that is the least crappy? What is next?" Jackie did the same.    
  


"Well Red is on this diet and Kitty is really worried about him so things are pretty tense around here."  
  


Instant concern "Is Red okay?"  
  


"Yeah, he is going to be fine. SO what next well...I have to work with Kelso. That sucks pretty bad."  
  


Silence. Hyde wondered if maybe this was pushing the topic of comfortable conversation. But she eventually spoke up.   
  


"Yeah I'm sure he is driving you crazy."  
  


"Well he now limits himself to only telling me 20 times a day that you are going to choose him" he was pushing it. But damn it she asked.   
  


She decided to ignore Michael for the moment, "So is that the crappiest thing about your summer so far?"  
  


"No. Not by a long shot." he sighed. Straining to here the new tune. Maybe it would help him through the sweet torture that was talking to the girl that got away.   
  


"What is?" She waited with baited breath. Could Steven really tell her? Open himself up to her even though she could burn him easily from 1000 miles away. Because she would be justified in doing so.  
  


"Well Jackie in case you hadn't noticed _I suck_ and my girlfriend left me because of it. I miss her. And even though she called that doesn't mean I will ever get her back."   
  


Did he just say all that?, they both thought. Jackie couldn't help but cave a little more. She still loved him. What she had told Eric was true. She needed Steven. He had become such a part of her life. He was the only person in the world that she thought she could depend on. And god help her not even his infidelity to change that. She knew that if she called he would talk to her. Even though she had left him, even though she had led him to believe that she might still be in love with Michael. He would still comfort her with his presence.  And now he was saying that he needed her as well?  
  


"Jackie? You still there?"  
  


"Yeah I'm here. Steven?"  
  


"Yeah?"  
  


"I miss you"  
  


"Really?" he was relieved. She still could admit that. And he guesses he should be happy that she was calling him and not Kelso. But really the only thing this whole mess had done good for him was make him realize that Kelso wasn't the problem. He had ruined what they had. And if he got the chance again he wasn't going to make the same mistake.   
  


"Yes" she sighed, waiting for his response.  She expected another apology or maybe even a little anger and a suggestion she come back then –but not what she got.    
  


"I miss you to. You know what I miss?"  
  


"What?" surprised and intrigued.  
  


"I miss talking to you"  
  


"No you don't" she laughed incredulously. Finally feeling comfortable. She could do this. She needed to. She wasn't prepared to see him. Or get back together. But talking to him was something she thinks she could enjoy.  
  


"Yes I do." Hyde laughed as well, feeling as if they had reached an agreement. Nothing held back. Communication. "I do. OR rather I miss listening to you talk about anything and everything. You know what my favorite memory of you is?"  
  


"What?" she wanted to know so bad.  
  


"That day we went to the mall. And you bought me the boots?"  
  


"Oh me spending money on you? That is it?" she laughed.  
  


"No! Well the boots were badass. No, just the day. I mean I'd been having a pretty crappy week. And we went and you wouldn't shut up the whole day. You just kept blathering about this and that and this shirt and those clogs and then you kissed me and I felt better. I wouldn't have admitted it at the time but I liked spending the day with you. And I liked   
that you liked me. Sometimes I think about that. You know -now."  
  
"Oh. I always thought you would do anything to shut me up"   
  


"Yeah well it was a lot easier to do that once we started going out"  
  


"You mean groping on the couch?"  
  


"Yeah, well that is what it started out as. I think about that too."  
  


"You know what I think about? Jackie started not sure if she wanted to open up. But he had done it so she felt she could reciprocate. "When I get down."  
  


"What?" Hyde found himself holding his breath in anticipation.  
  


"I think about you giving me your t-shirt."  
  


"I didn't think you liked it."  
  


"Well it isn't pink or anything but ...it means something to you. It is your favorite."  
  


"It would look better on you," he laughed. The idea that she would ever wear his dirty boyish Led Zeppelin t-shirt was funny. She surprised him with her next comment though.  
  


"I wear it to sleep in".  
  


"Still?" he was shocked.  
  


She wasn't going to go that far. She missed him but she was still hurting. "Steven I think I need to go now."  
  


"I'm sorry Jackie"  
  


There it was –she knew it was coming.  It seemed that was all he ever did these days -apologize. And as much as she wanted to forgive him it was still too hard. She knew he was sincere but she just couldn't let him try to wish it away. Last summer they could pretend they didn't mean anything and he could shut her up with his perfect kisses. But it would take more than that to make the pain go away. "I know..."  
  


"I'm so sorr...Look Jacks I...could we do this again? I mean you never said why you called in the first place. Were you looking for Donna? Did you want to talk to Kitty?"  
  


She thought about lying but didn't have the energy. "No. I wanted to hear your voice"  
  


"Does this mean..?"  
  


"I don't know what it means yet Steven. Could you just bare with me? I mean this isn't about playing you and Michael off each other. I just still need my space. But I would like to call you again. Talk."  
  


It was something. Not enough but more than he probably deserved. "Cool"  
  


She walked over to the phone base and prepared to say goodbye. She didn't want to but she needed to. It was a beginning. It surprised her that it was what she wanted. She had thought this summer was about ending something. Getting over love gone bad. But now she decided maybe it could be about starting over. Maybe.  
  


"Bye Jackie… I love you."  
  


"Bye Steven"  
  


He set the phone down with a smile on his face. And turned the radio up.   
  
  


A/N: Okay guys. The next one will be better. I'm just getting started.  And for some reason I just can't write on my new laptop.  I think fast and type fast but getting use to the new equipment is slowing me down so it is making me lose the good stuff.  Please tell me what you think.


	2. Mendocino County Line

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson / Song 2  
  
Disclaimer: I own little -and nothing of large monetary value like T70show.  
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit: My muse is sleepy -so I decided to do a little writing exercise to wake it. I'm challenging myself to write a chapter a day using the titles of the 12 songs off Willie Nelson's album The Great Divide. This is an exercise. I hope it turns out entertaining as well. So...moving right along...  
  
Song Cred: The second song is Mendocino County Line.

Words make you think a thought.  Music makes you feel a feeling.  A song makes you feel a thought. 

                                                                                    -E.Y. Haibug

Are you still listening to country music? 

                                                                                    -Kelso NBFBM

___________________________________________________________________________

_We counted the stars on the fourth of July_

_Wishin' we were rockets burstin' in the sky_

_Talkin' about redemption…leaving things behind_

_As the sun sank west of the Mendocino county line_

_As fierce as Monday morning feeling washed away_

_I orchestrated paradise but couldn't make you stay_

_You dance with horses, through the sands of time_

_As the sun sinks west of the Mendocino County line_

_I have these pictures_

_I keep these photographs_

_To remind me of a time_

_These pictures _

_These photographs_

_Let me know I'm doing fine_

_I used to make you happy _

_Once upon a time_

_But the sun sank west of the Mendocino county line_

_The two of us together felt nothing but right_

_Feelin near immortal every Friday night_

_Lost in our convictions, lips stained with wine_

_As the sun sank west of the Mendocino County line_

The summer continued slowly, without much activity and June was soon over.  Steven Hyde had gone from being impatient for August –to hesitant.  Jackie had continued calling him and they were having such a good time on the phone he was afraid that real contact would erase all the progress they had made.  He found it easy to trust and open up over the phone.  He found it easy not to be old guarded Hyde.  Maybe it was because she was the only one to witness it.  He thought surely.  So he was afraid that if she came back he would revert to his old ways and lose her again.  He always felt like this when he wasn't on the phone.  It was like a self-doubt that manifested when she wasn't there to remind him of why he couldn't lose her.  Why he wouldn't let that happen.  But it seemed that if she wasn't going on about the beach or the humidity's affect on her hair he couldn't believe it was real.  He would decide he had only imagined the whole conversation.  So he would wander around doubting his senses until the next call.  Which wouldn't be any time soon.  Because it was the Fourth of July.  A day of Independence for the rest of the world and a day of agony for Hyde.

 Holiday's were always special at the Foreman house.   They were just that kind of family.  And Hyde was glad to be a part of it –if not overly enthused about his life situation.  Donna and Eric, Fez and Laurie and Bob and Joanne were over helping set up for the 4th of July grill out.  Hyde was trying to enjoy the festivities but he could hardly get in the mood.  He missed Jackie.  Last year –she would have been here.  They would have been kissing or fighting or making fun of Laurie.  And any of those three would be preferable to being here alone.  At least Kelso was busy with his own family celebration and wouldn't be showing up.  They were still friends but his presence reminded him more often than not of his transgressions.  He didn't blame the boy for wanting Jackie.  He didn't blame Jackie anymore for her friendship with him.  But he still blamed himself for screwing things up.  

"Steven honey?  Could you bring me the chicken breasts?"  Kitty called in her high pitch mom voice.

"Oh god Kitty do I have to eat that crap?" Red groaned.

"Yes, you are not getting anywhere near that red meat.  You are on a diet."

"Damn it"

"Have you forgotten that you almost died?" Kitty asked hands on hips as if talking to a wayward child. 

"Yes Daddy – you have to take care of yourself," Laurie piped in.  Patting him on the shoulder and looking lovingly up at him.  

Red was not having it though.  "And whose fault is that?"

Hyde laughed.  It was funny.  He was now the favorite child.  What with Laurie and Eric's life decisions conflicting with Red's idea of responsible life choices.  It wasn't funny if you thought about the course of events that led to it (i.e. the heart attack).  But it was funny that Red now considered him the good son –when he wasn't even born into the family.  The man also knew how much he missed Jackie and had been going easy on him all summer because of it. 

"So Hyde, talked to Jackie lately?" Eric asked seemingly genuinely interested.

"Yeah, I talked to her last night." He offered.  No use in denying his feelings when he kept his stereo tuned to Country 9 times out of 10.  

"How is she doing?  What did she have planned for today?" Donna asked.

"She was going to some pig roast or something with her mother and her boyfriend."

"Jackie has a new boyfriend?"  Fez asked shocked.

Hyde blanched at the very idea.  "NO Fez, it is her mother's boyfriend."

"Now now boys –help me set the table.  Laurie go inside and get the chips."  Kitty interrupted.  She was always so good at helping him out.  

The day was nice he supposed.  They had good food and it was nice that most of the gang was back together hanging out.  Fez was sharing way too much information about his marital bed and Donna and Foreman wouldn't shut up about the upcoming college year.  They migrated to the basement some time after Kitty's homemade ice cream.  He was sitting in his chair trying not to think about Jackie and wondering if anyone would notice if he retired to his room and his radio.  He had bought a record by this guy Willie Nelson and he wanted to listen to it before trying to get some sleep.  He was half way out of the room before someone noticed.  

"Hyde where you going?" Eric called

"No where.  I was just going to get a Popsicle from the deep freeze.  You want one?"  Damn it –busted.  Now he would have to hang out here all night.  Talking to the lovebirds.  Listening to all the happy people who found it easy to trust their mates and not make stupid mistakes.  Great. Then the phone rang – he sprinted for the stairs before realizing how un-Hyde that was and turned around.  He heard Kitty answer and start talking, a few minutes later she called down.

"Steven- telephone"

He took the stairs two at a time and didn't even bother hiding it.    
  


"Hello?" Hyde said out of breath.

"Steven are you okay?  Why are you panting?" Jackie was all concern.  He smiled.

"Oh I was just… uh working out".

"On the 4th of July?" 

"Yeah well what better way to celebrate freedom than good ole fashioned physical exertion."

"I guess." She wasn't buying it though.  

"So I didn't think you were going to call today?"

"Well the Luau fell through."  She seemed sad at that.

"What happened?"

"My mom got in a fight with Brian so he didn't come over and she decided to go to the Tiki Bar instead."  

Her mom sucking was nothing new –but he felt bad anyway.  Jackie deserved better.  And if he weren't afraid of her coming back he would have told her to get on the next plane.  She should be with people that actually cared about her feelings.  But he didn't suggest it and she changed the subject.  Forcing a perky tone that was only fake for about a minute.

"And anyway –that just means I got to stay inside away from the heat and call you."

"Lucky me." And he meant it.  

"So how was the Foreman extravaganza?"

"Normal.  Foreman and Donna bugged us all about college all day.  Fez and Laurie made out –which let me tell you isn't anything I needed to see.  And Red kept trying to steal my ribs when Kitty wasn't looking."

She laughed.  It was good to know that some things would never change.  "Did you get your present?"

"What present?" Hyde asked shocked.  The Fourth of July was not a present event.  He didn't know much about sanctioned government holidays –but he knew that.  And why would Jackie have gotten him something even if it were.  

"Don't freak out." She knew him too well.  Something that used to scare him, but now he liked. "It isn't anything.  I just…well holidays are always special for us.  And I know we aren't together right now but I wanted to get you something anyway.  So I got Mrs. Foreman to put something in your room.  You'll see later that it isn't dramatic.  I just didn't know if you had one –and I do – and I thought you might want one too."

Well now he was intrigued.  Why did phones have to have cords?  He suddenly had the overwhelming urge to study that in college and create ones you could carry everywhere.  "Okay".  

"Okay –now you are too interested in knowing what it is to be any good to me.  I'll let you go.  I'll call you tomorrow.  You working?"

"Yeah.  I'll be home by 5 though.  Happy 4th Jacks.  I love you."  It was getting easier and easier to say.  Probably because it was becoming more and more true.  It was worth all the stress when he heard the effect of the statement.  He could hear her smile.  

"Goodnight Steven."

"Goodnight Jackie. "

A resounding click and he was back down the stairs in record time.  Ignoring the looks of the other 4 young people occupying the basement.  In his room on his bed there was an envelope.  In it was a picture of him and Jackie at some other holiday function.  She looked beautiful and he looked happy.  And she was right he didn't have anything like this.  It was perfect.  He perched it on the table beside his bed and opened his new record.  Time for his nightly dose of brooding over the girl who got away.  And now he had visuals to help.  

A/N:  Damn it –the muse is still fighting me.  I think I was planning angst and now I don't feel angsty and that is conflicting with the goodness of this story.  Anyway – forgive me if it isn't great.  If it doesn't get easier I'll shorten the project and wrap it up and not try to force it anymore. 


	3. Last Stand in Open Country

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer: I own little -and nothing of large monetary value like T70show.  
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit: My muse is sleepy -so I decided to do a little writing exercise to wake it. I'm challenging myself to write   
  
a chapter a day using the titles of the 12 songs off Willie Nelson's album The Great Divide. This is an exercise. I hope   
  
it turns out entertaining as well. So...moving right along...  
  
Song Cred: Last Stand in Open Country -Willie Nelson featuring Kid Rock. I'm having to reach for this one folks. It features Kid Rock for god's sake. So I'm only using the chorus.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
If thou remember'st not the slightest folly  
  
That ever love did make thee run into  
  
Thou hast not loved.   
  
-Shakespeare, As You Like it  
  
"My God! You guys aren't just fooling around. You care about her."  
  
-Eric  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Now it's our last stand in open country  
  
This is my last chance to be with you  
  
This is the last dance for this kind of man  
  
I'm still lookin' for something to prove   
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Hey Hyde man. Have you seen the new front desk girl? She is so hot!" Michael Kelso asked walking up to his friend and ignoring the annoyed look he gave as he went back to working.  
  
Hyde wasn't in the mood for Kelso's crap. His constant girl chasing was the only thing that was worse than his constant talk of getting Jackie back. Did the doofus ever listen to himself? Did he pay attention to his actions? Did he know what the word contridiction meant? Probably no on all counts. So Hyde tried really hard to just do his job and ignore him. The faster he could finish the faster he could go home. And listen to his music and wait for his call.   
  
"Hyde. Man did you hear me?" he flipped his hair in that stupid manner of his and waited for a response.  
  
"Yeah, I heard you." The guys were getting along more since Jackie left as long as Hyde didn't let him get to him with his man whore ways. But it was a challenge on Hyde's part not to let him.   
  
"So answer!" he erupted in a characteristic spurt of Kelso frustration.  
  
Hyde sighed. If they hadn't been friends for a thousand years he swore he would..."Yes Kelso I've seen the new girl."   
  
"And she is so hot."  
  
"I suppose."  
  
Kelso looked at him like he was crazy. Janie, the new girl, had dark hair and buxom figure and he was sure that Kelso would be hounding her for the rest of the summer.   
  
"You suppose? The woman is a goddess! Are you blind man?...." oh Kelso light-bulb look. "Oh I see this is about Jackie"  
  
Hyde didn't like this. He had avoided the straight topic of Jackie all summer. Sure Kelso bragged about how great it was going to be when Jackie came back and picked him. But Hyde refused to take the bait and he would go on to the next subject.   
  
He was also doing his best to hide his phone conversations with Jackie. Just let him think that he was over Jackie. So he wouldn't start plotting. "What? Man are you crazy?"  
  
"Oh yes -crazy like a chinchila -I'm on to your game now."   
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh yes I'm no fool. My brain is like a rusty trap. You think that if you don't date anybody all summer that she will choose you over me -because you think that I won't be able to not share the Kelso love. Ah HA! Gotcha!"  
  
Hyde just looked confused. The boy had figured out something all right, it would have been a great plan, but it wasn't his. "Okay first off -it is fox and steel. You are stupid. And second -I'm not trying to not date anybody. I don't WANT to date anybody."  
  
"Well then I don't want to date anybody"  
  
"You've already dated people." It was so exhausting being his friend. He made him feel like Red. Dumbass, kept repeating in a loop in his head.   
  
"Well that doesn't count....that was before I knew the plan."  
  
"There is no plan Kelso"  
  
"Well I think there is"  
  
"There ISN'T"  
  
"There IS"  
  
"There ISN'T"  
  
"There IS"  
  
"There isn....look Kelso. Let's stop this, it is pointless. And it is time for me to clock out." He took off his coat and went to leave.  
  
"Fine, but just you know that I am on to you. It won't work. THERE IS" he shouted as Hyde made his way through the hotel front doors.  
  
At the last minute Hyde turned around, just before the sliding doors closed shut blocking all sound he shouted back "There isn't" Oh the last word. Don't play with the big boys Kelso -cause plan or no plan you will get beat.   
  
Back in the basement the phone rang twice before Hyde could grab it. "Jackie"   
  
"Hey, I thought maybe you weren't there". Jackie sounded relieved that he was.   
  
"No, I just walked in. I was late getting out of work today."   
  
"Do I want to know why?" she laughed.  
  
"Do I want to even think about it?" he joked back. Even though it was true.  
  
She seemed to pick up on that and her tone turned serious "Is he bothering you that much?"  
  
He considered what to say. Should he tell her that Kelso still pushed his buttons. That most days he still felt like he had something to prove when it came to him. Before it would have been about proving to Kelso that Jackie loved him more -now it was more about proving to himself that he deserved that love. He didn't want to be like Kelso. "No. Look I don't want to talk about him. And not because of any reason you would think. I would just rather talk about you. How was your day?"  
  
"Fine I suppose. Look Steven, I really kinda miss everybody. I was thinking about coming home."  
  
It was what he'd been afraid of. He missed her but he wasn't ready. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Do you not want me to come home?" she sounded angry and confused.  
  
He didn't want that. She had spent enough time feeling like that. "No! Jacks it is not that. It is just - I feel like this is really important. This time apart. I feel like we were just playing before and when we do this -this time - when you come back -if you want to -if you can"  
  
"Steven what are you trying to say?" now she just sounded impatient.   
  
He decided to be honest and suffer the consquences. "That I'm afraid if you come back, you'll remember why you hate me."   
  
"Steven." touched now, hopefully rethinking.  
  
"I miss you. I just don't want to lose you again. When I don't even officially have you back." Would she understand what he was saying? Would she stay?  
  
"Okay. I understand. So I guess I better get to bed -cause tomorrow its back to the beach" She was dissapointed but not entirely unpleased with the conversation.  
  
"I can't wait to see your tan" he laughed.  
  
"Well I guess you can." she laughed back.   
  
"Goodnight Jackie. Love you."  
  
"Night"  
  
A/N: Okay I'm finally into the story. I liked this chapter. Tell me if you do please. Oh and this is a challenge so -if you guys want to suggest I add something or throw in something wacky -tell me and I'll try. Anything to help the muse. 


	4. Won't catch me cryin

Title:  Won't Catch Me Cryin

Disclaimer:  Not mine.  Wish they were, then I wouldn't be slavin for the man.

Summary:  Jackie's summer away turns into a summer on the phone with the man she just can't leave behind.

Credit:  Song 4 is again written by Matchbox Twenty's Rob Thomas.  It is Won't Catch me Cryin.

"The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is.  For as Gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain." 

                                                                                          Marvin Jay M. Torres

"Steven is a no nonsense Sagittarius who's not afraid of hard work or true love."

                                                                                          Jackie (Hey Hey What can I do)

_You want catch me cryin' over you_

_I think I'm leavin' all that I've been through_

_Pardon me if I love you endlessly_

_But you've got wounds that I can't move_

_I won't be not sleeping over you___

_If I'm sleepin' far away from you_

_I know you think you need me_

_But once you had and couldn't keep me_

_Isn't this the same ground we've been through?_

_You won't catch me cryin' over you_

_No you won't catch me cryin' over you_

_After all the things you put me through_

_I need to be somewhere_

_With room to breathe_

_I need a heart that don't need you_

_You won't catch m cryin' over you_

The beach was sandy white, the ocean crystal blue with no seaweed.  It was private which meant not overcrowded.  It was perfect.  And Jackie hated every bit of it.  She didn't want fresh air or warm breezes.  She missed the stagnant basement and Wisconsin's mild summer.  She missed flipping channels and watching the guys play basketball.  She missed Steven.  And she wanted to go home.  But Steven didn't want her too.  The jerk.  Not only did he ruin her plan of getting over him by being irresistible and patient.  But now he was ruining the ruination of said plan.  And yeah that made no sense –but she was pissed.  Why did he have to screw up? And then why did he have to be so great and make her want to forgive him?  I mean pick a personality Steven.  Are you a Zen Jerk who can't trust or an upstanding good guy?  Who the hell said you could be both?  But he was.  She had run off to the beach to deny that.  Because she knew that if she saw him every day she wouldn't be able to not forgive him.  She really wanted everything to be black and white.  Right or wrong. Eric or Kelso.  But that wasn't always the case.  She was supposed to be mature and okay with that.  But part of her wanted to stay naïve and believe it anyway.  Part of her wanted to write off Steven as a cheater now, to not trust that it had been a one time mistake.  But the other part (the bigger, stronger, more demanding part) had its mind made up.  He wasn't Michael.  She could see it in his eyes –the devastation.  She could hear it in his voice even over the phone-the regret.  He didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want to be hurt. But now he seemed to be able to open himself up to just that.  So maybe she could do the same.  She would if he would let her come home!  But he was too afraid that she still needed space.  And no matter what she said, she couldn't conquer his fears. His scars ran too damn deep.  She wanted to be his lifeline –she had told him that once – but it was proving to be a lot of work.  Lucky for him she had grown up a lot.  She wasn't going to sit around and cry like she did all those times with Michael. She was going to deal.  Steven could dwell in all his sad country music but she was going to be strong.  Strong enough for both of them.

Later that day she got ready to make her daily call.  Thank God her mom's new boyfriend was paying the phone bill.  She'd have to go home otherwise.  She dialed the familiar number and listened for the pick up.  

"Hello Jackie" Mrs. Forman answered.  

God was she that predictable?  She laughed –yes she was. "Hello Mrs. Forman. How is Mr. Forman?"

"He is good honey.  How are you?"

"I'm fine." Lonely she wanted to add but she didn't want to worry the overly generous woman.

"How is your mother treating you sweetie?  Is she paying enough attention to you?"

Jackie rolled her eyes at that thought.  Her mother didn't pay attention to anyone who wasn't herself or holding a Gold card.  "Yes Mam" she lied.  

There was a long pause and then "Okay honey I'm going to choose to believe that lie and tell you that you are welcome back home anytime.  Bob and Joanne won't mind.  And well Mr. Forman won't admit it but –it's too quiet around here."

She smiled to herself, Mrs. Forman was the greatest.  "So you are saying he needs "the loud one" around?"  Just then Jackie heard the kitchen door open and then Red's voice ask gruffly.

"Is that the loud one again?  Tell her to come home already.  The Fat Cat's at the phone company have enough money as is.  Doesn't anybody write anymore?  The U.S Postal Service –now there is where people need help."

Mrs. Forman cleared her throat and continued. "See honey we all want you to come home." Then the Kitty laugh.

"Not everybody" she mumbled under her breath.

"What honey?"

"Nothing.  Is Steven home?"

"Yes, hold on one second."

Jackie heard her shout downstairs and then the phone changed hands.  

"Hey Jacks" 

His voice would always fill her with warmth.  Even when he told her about the slutty nurse –it had filled her with hot anger.  Michael's transgressions had always left her cold, feeling like an idiot.  Steven had just hurt her.  She knew now it was because she truly loved him.  And when you do that you can't stop.  "Hey Steven.  So Mr. Forman wants me to come home.  And so does Mrs. Forman and I bet if I took a poll 4 out of 5 basement dwellers will agree." She was only half kidding with him.

"Are you that confident in the votes?" he kidded back. 

"Pretty confident" 

"Really cause Eric – I don't know.  And Laurie might sway Fez's vote now." He stated logically.  

He was probably right.  She should have been nicer to the losers when she had the chance.  "Oh well I guess I'll just stay here then.  Since no one misses me." She laughed but it must have conveyed a millimeter of truth because Steven's kidding tone changed.  

"That's not true.  We all miss you."

She was touched.  "Well maybe Red does."

But he wasn't letting her go back to the joke. "You know I do" He was using his sincere voice.  The quiet, adamant tone he used the first time he told her he loved her.  The one he used when he forgave her for calling Michael her boyfriend and asked her to the dance.  She loved that voice –even if she only seemed to hear it when one of them had screwed up.  She hoped one day she'd hear it for no reason.  Like on a Tuesday at breakfast when they were fifty. _"Jackie could you pass the Maple Syrup"._ It would be nice.

"Jackie, you there?" she had zoned out thinking about her future with him.  Funny how quick she'd gone back to doing that.  

"Where else would I be?  Sorry I zoned out."

"What were you thinking about?"

"About how I hope our son beats up Eric and Donna's son one day –just to make up for all those devil comments Eric has made over the years."  She earned a contemplative silence for that comment but when he responded she heard more hope than fear.

"Our son?"

"You are right.  We are talking about Eric's kid here.  It could just as easily be our daughter."

More silence and then the voice "I love you Jacks". 

She was going to say it back this time.  Because she knew it was true but something stopped her.  If she said it she would cry and she had promised herself she wouldn't.  So instead she asked him about work, and Fez and Laurie, and then Donna and Eric and even Mrs. Forman's dog.  They talked until Red came back in the kitchen hours later yelling about long distance rates and the poor schmuck who was paying them.  Then they said goodbye and Jackie went to sleep dreaming of the next call and going home.  


	5. I'll be there for you

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer:  I don't own.  I rent.  
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit: Oh God am I only on song 5?  And you know, Willie wasn't thinking of me and my story when he put these songs in order.  I know this is an exercise and the point is to make it work but damn. Okay I'll stop venting now.  Tell me what you think guys.  I love you all for it – I hope you know that.   
  
Song Cred: I'll be there for You.  Featuring Sheryl Crow (Just F.Y.I –I'm not pimping for her or anything)  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving.  There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness."

                                                                                                      -Friedrich Nietzsche  
 

"That is the price you pay for docking your love boat in Jackie Vallarta."

                                                                                                      -Hyde  
________________________________________________________________________

It's the way that you kiss me

It's the way that you don't

It's the way that you'll miss me

When you swear that you won't

There's a feeling you give me

When we talk on the phone

God, I hope you out live me

So I'm never alone

And whatever you do, I will be there for you

Through the thunder, the wind, and the rain

And whatever you do, I will promise to you

I will be there

I'll be there for you

I may lack social graces

But I won't swallow my pride

See there are millions of places, I could be

But I'm here by your side

Though, there's nothing to guide us

We will weather the storm

Till the heavens divide us

I'll keep you from harm

And whatever you do, I will be there for you

Through the thunder, the wind, and the rain

And whatever you do, I will promise to you

I will be there

I'll be there for you

"Steven" Jackie whined.

"What?" he faked ignorance.

"You know you want to." She insisted for the millionth time.

"No.  No actually I don't." 

"Please?" trying to use the sugary little girl voice now to win him over.  It wasn't as effective without the accompanying lip pout.

"Nope, not gonna happen." 

"But Steeeeeeeeven" she needled.  He thought about continuing to deny her.  He laid his head down on his bed (Kitty had convinced Red to get him a phone down here so he wouldn't have to sit around the kitchen annoying them) and listened to the announcer on WZZK introduce a new song.  It was one of his favorites these days; it was one of the few country songs he knew that ended without the guy losing the girl.  

"Jackie what makes you think that I would want to get up from the relative comfort of my private bedroom, go into the drab basement where anyone could show up and bug me –just so I can watch Laverne and Shirley with you?" 

Jackie paused, seemingly to mull it over.  Then came up with the only answer that would ever get him to do exactly that "because you love me."

He laughed, actually laughed.  Damn it, it was true.  But he had to at least put up one last-ditch effort to be a man and not a pansy.  "It is a stupid show."

She laughed too, and he could so tell that she knew she had him. "Just turn it on".

He was already doing it, pulling the cord as far as it would go.  "Now tell me again how you are all the way over there and this shit still comes on at the same time?"

"I don't know Steven.  I guess it is just the magic of television.  Don't question it.  OOH look Shirley's boyfriend Carmine is on this episode."

Hyde rolled his eyes.  Great, that guy was a pansy and Jackie was so into him.  She fancied herself very Shirley like and was always finding ways to make Donna the goofy Laverne.  "I don't see how you could think this show is realistic.  That guy is supposed to be like this big tough guy and he dances.  Tough guys don't dance."

"You dance". She scoffed.

"I do not dance."  

"Then what the hell were you doing at the prom or the Valentine's dance?"

Well those had been exceptions. "Well it is not like I enjoyed it.  That guy enjoys it.  He is a freak."

"You didn't enjoy dancing with me?" uh oh she was getting offended.  He couldn't attack Carmine and dancing.

He quickly began to cover.  "Of course I enjoyed dancing with you.  But it was the you part not the dancing."

That one got her.  "Oh"

"Anyway – and those dumb neighbors.  Who would live by those guys?  They are idiots.  And they are always chasing around girls and you can't even understand that short one.  Who would be friends with these people?" 

"Steven it is just a show.  And we are missing it.  Now shush and we will talk during the commercials."

He shushed.  And 7 minutes later Shirley and Laverne were knee deep in some slapstick misunderstanding and Jackie's attention was his again.  "So can I talk now?"

"Yes".

"So how is the beach?"

"Same old same old".

"Are the guys leaving you alone?" he asked.  He had no right too, but he asked.  And he tried really hard not to hold his breath while waiting for her to answer.

"Yep". She answered.

"Why don't I believe that?" Trust was trust but there was just no way that was the truth.  Jackie was beautiful.

"Well you see I've changed a lot since the last time you saw me." 

"Really?  How?"

Her amused tone didn't help the believability of her forthcoming lie.  "Well I've developed this skin problem and I've stopped conditioning my hair.  Yep – I'm just a dog now.  Be glad you got rid of me when you did."

"Jackie I…"

"Shush the shows back on"

He couldn't believe her sometimes.  She was always surprising him with how much she had changed.  The old Jackie could never even joked about being ugly.  20 minutes later the show was wrapping up and Jackie began to talk again.

"So what is going…"

"Shut up I'm trying to read the credits". He joked mimicking her enthusiasm for the ridiculous situation comedy.

"Steeeven".

He laughed.  "You know working in a factory is never that glamorous right?  I mean that isn't what you are going to study in college."

"No Steven.  God no."

"Good because I don't want to be married to a line worker." He continued the joke.  Jackie joined in until about the point where he mentioned matrimony.  Then she got quiet.  It was a good quiet though.  Like she was afraid he would take it back.  "So back to the conversation we were having earlier.  Exactly how are you keeping the men at bay?"

She laughed again.  "I tell them that I'm gay."

He almost choked on his cola.  "YOU WHAT?"

She was enjoying his shock. "Oh yeah, didn't I tell you?  I've switched sides.  Why do you think I'm watching Laverne and Shirley on a Friday night?"  She was laughing so hard he thought she might explode.

He smirked hoping she could feel it through the phone and grudgingly admitted she had got him.  "You'd miss me."

"No I wouldn't." she was a really bad liar.  Her voice would always go up a little at the end of the sentence.

"Well you may not miss me exactly –but you would miss the way I kiss you." It was nice teasing her again about intimate things.  He had gotten that back somewhere over the phone line.  

"Mayyyyyybe" she said as if it really was up for debate.  

"Oh you would eventually." He assured.

"Maybe I do already"

Well that shut him up.  Was she saying that if she came home he would get some lovin?  Cause he would face just about anything to kiss those lips again.  He had spent about 2 hours each night listening to the radio absolutely convinced he would never get to again and now she was saying that he would.  If this is where situation comedies led –he would watch more T.V.  Hell when did Mork and Mindy come on?  "You do?"

She hesitantly answered, "I do."

"I miss you too Jackie".

"Well that is just silly.  If I came home we wouldn't have to do all this missing." 

He sighed. 

"I know, I know, space, time, healing blah blah blah". She sounded tired of hearing it.  

He wondered silently how they were going to keep avoiding a fight about it.  

"You know tough guys aren't supposed to worry about things like that.  Maybe you do like to dance Carmine".  

He laughed.  If she was back to joking they had avoided the fight again.  At least for another night.  "Yeah well Say goodnight Shirley."

"Goodnight Shirley.  I'll call you tomorrow."

"I'll be here."  He hung up the phone with a smile. But it soon vanished.  Why didn't he want her to come back?  And how long was she going to take no for an answer?  

A/N:  Next chapter –conflict.  What do ya think?  


	6. The Great Divide

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer:  I don't own.  I rent.  
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit: Okay guys Here be Turmoil.  This is country people and these two are just having too good of a time.  Gotta fix it before I have to change the title to 5 songs by some old fart and 7 by Bri Bri Spears.  Hey!  Maybe that will be my next project. (JK-I don't know 7 songs by Bri,) (Okay that is a pretentious lie –I do-but I digress). Please review!  Pretty please with pop stars on top!   
  
Song Cred: Song 6 is The Great Divide, album namesake.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  


  Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.   
                                                                                                            -Pope John XXIII                                                                                                      
 

Jackie: Steven crushed my spirit, and now there's only one place I can turn to.

Donna: Please, God, don't let it be me. 

                                                                                                  -Over the hills and far away 

_____________________________________________________________________

Here we are standing where

The highways cross

Here we are sayin goodbye

Just another love lost in the great divide

Here we are acting like two crazy kids 

We've come too far to ever let it end like this

Just another love lost in the great divide

Remember how we used to dance together

Remember how I used to hold me tight

You asked me if I'd leave and I said never

And that's still right

Summer sun, no prettier than summer rain

Summer gone, summer coming back again

And other loves lost in the great divide

____________________________________________________________________

Jackie didn't feel well.  She had a headache and the summer sun and her mothers endless conquests didn't help.  She had already taken 4 Excedrin before she picked up the phone to call Donna.  The new phone number was taped to the front of her diary; she had been avoiding calling her for weeks.  But now she knew that she needed her and missed her to boot.  She would have called before but she'd been too busy talking to Steven.  Her head hurt too much to do that right now.  If she called him they would only get in a fight.  She couldn't help it, she wanted to come home and she wanted him to want her to come home.  And his stubborn refusal to admit why he had a problem with that was pissing her off.  She just knew it was because he still didn't trust her to be around Michael.  He'd rather have her over here with random beach guys than around her stupid ex-boyfriend who she had absolutely no interest in.  It made no sense.  Okay well maybe she had given him reasons to doubt her.  But she really thought all the talking they had been doing lately would help.  She needed Donna.  Donna always knew what to do somehow.  She was pretty smart for a lumberjack.  

On the second ring Donna answered the phone enthusiastically.  "Hello!"

"Um Hey?" she answered back, obviously Donna expected someone else.  

"Oh Jackie's it you.  Hey!"

Jackie was more than a little pleased that her friend's tone remained peppy.  "So how is the new apartment?"

"Its great.  I thought you were my landlord –he is supposed to offer Eric a job."

"That's cool." She said and meant it but her headache was making her tone come out preoccupied and strained.  

Donna heard it.  "What is wrong Jackie?"

"Nothing I just have this headache."  She knew Donna didn't buy it by the silence that followed so she gave in. "and Steven doesn't want me to come home."

Donna laughed, not a mean laugh, but a godthesetwoareridiculous laugh. "Jackie he sooo wants you to come home.  I mean he practically drags around all day and then you call and then all of a sudden everything's beer and pretzels."  

"Well then why does he not ask me to come home?  And why when I mention it does he act like it is a bad idea?" she whined.

"I don't know.  I guess maybe he is just scared."

"He has nothing to be scared of."

"He doesn't?"

"What does that mean?"

"Well I mean, are you totally sure that coming back now and seeing him won't bring back all your hurt feelings?  Are you sure you have totally forgiven him?"

"Yes, well, you know – I am still hurt.  I still can't forget what he did.  But I love him and I want to be with him.  And I don't think we are going to get any closer to okay with me a million miles away."

Donna paused and Jackie hoped that she would agree.  "Well you have a point then."

Yea!  If Donna agreed then she could come home.  It meant she was right and he was wrong and she couldn't wait to tell him.  "Oh thank you Donna!  Thank you so much.  I've got to call Steven.  Bye!"

"Wait Jackie, that doesn't mean…." Donna tried to fix her mistake but it was too late.  She hung up the phone hoping Hyde wouldn't hate her for this.  

The phone rang at the Forman's and no one even gave it a second look.  They knew it was for Hyde and they let him answer.  

"He-llo" he said smile already in place.  

"Hey baby" she almost cheered.  

That couldn't be good.  What the hell got her in such a great mood? "What is going on?" he asked suspiciously.

"OH nothing.  I just called and talked to Donna."

He felt more at ease but still cautious "oh yeah?  What did she have to say?"

She launched into her practiced statement hoping that pure enthusiasm and logic would make him agree, "Well she said that I am right and that I should come home for the good of our relationship."

Well there you have it, he thought.  The fight he knew was coming.  He sighed and sat down on the couch. "Jacks we talked about this remember?  I mean the whole idea to do the whole space thing was yours in the first place."

"You know I think you like missing me."

Oh god it was too late now.  So much for their record of fifty something good angst-free phone conversations. "What is that suppose to mean?"

"I think you like being lonely and wallowing in your life sucks music." 

She sounded hurt and pissed and he didn't like that he was the cause of it.  So he did what he always did –he made it worse.  "Yeah well I think you like forgiving people without reason just so you don't have to be alone."

She gasped "What?  You know I thought all this time talking was supposed to be giving me reason.  I thought we were getting something accomplished –but obviously I was wrong."

He realized too late that she was right.  He was enjoying punishing himself with self-recrimination and lack of Jackie.  He thought he deserved it for hurting her.  But all he was doing was hurting her more by hurting himself.  "Jackie I'm sorr.."

"Don't Steven.  Don't apologize yet again.  Look I'll talk to you later okay.  I just need to think and I'll…I'll… just goodnight Steven." 

And then dead air.  He'd done it.  He'd finally ruined his life.  He'd been trying for years and now it was done.  He wasn't relieved with the accomplishment though.  He was just numb.  She hadn't exactly hung up on him but he doubted she would be calling back tomorrow.  Maybe not even the day after that.  He silently hoped she would call back eventually.  He'd be here when she did.  Turning up the radio he corrected that statement to "if she did."      


	7. Just dropped in

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer:  I don't own.  I rent.  
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit: Hey everybody!  What is shakin?  Okay so Hyde messed up.  Again.  Why couldn't he have just let her come home?  I blame the country music.  No seriously.  Whenever I get depressed I always bust out with the country – a little Hank Jr, a little Willie – and then all of a sudden you are enjoying the funk.  But we don't need Hyde enjoying the funk.  This song isn't going to help though – I can feel it.    
  
Song Cred: Song 7 is Just Dropped In (to see what condition my condition was in).  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional.**  
                                                                                                                - _Unknown_**

Hyde: Hey Forman, did you realize that there's another room back there?! Hey, and it barely stinks! 

Eric:  Perfect! You can sit back there underneath your bare bulb and write angry letters to the government! 

Steven: Oh, don't think I won't!

_____________________________________________________________________

_Woke up this mornin' with the sundown shinin' in_

Found my broken mind in a brown paper bag again 

_Tripped on a cloud and fell eight miles high_

_Tore my mind on a jagged sky_

_And I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in_

_Lord, lord, lord, what condition my condition was in_

_I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole and followed it in_

_Had myself crawlin' out as I was crawlin' in_

_I woke up so tight I said I'd never unwind_

_I saw too much and, Lord, it broke my mind_

_So I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was is_

_Lord, Lord, Lord, what condition my condition was in_

_Somebody painted "April fool" in big black letters on a dead end sign_

_I had my foot on the gas, when I left the road it blew out my mind_

_Eight miles our of Memphis, Lord, I got no spare_

_Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere_

_And I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in_

Steven Hyde had been drinking since he got off work two hours ago.  He no longer could remember why he had started but he had a sneaky suspicion it had to do with that terrible pain just under the left side of his rib cage, about where he figured his heart was.  It could also be do to the fact that he had taken a radio in to work and had just about o.d-ed on some good old Hank Williams Sr. songs.  That man was an artist, sure he had drunk himself to death, but he was talented just the same.  Signaling the bartender for another round Hyde felt the sudden and incredible urge to pack up and take a road trip to the man's grave.  _Yeah that would be cool_.  

He didn't want to go all the way to Alabama alone though (Hyde wasn't sure how he knew where the country legend was buried but he did).  He should take Jackie.  

That thought brought the pain back in full force and he took a new swig from his new bottle.  It wasn't helping.  Jackie hated him.  He had cheated on her, drove her away and then came up with excuses to keep her there.  He sucked.  She wouldn't go to Alabama with him.  She probably wouldn't cross the street with him now.  She wasn't going to call.  He had ruined everything.  And here in this dingy bar, completely intoxicated, he could admit that.  He wasn't feeling very Hyde.  He just wanted to call Jackie and apologize and beg and any other Forman-esque thing he would have to do to make this pain go away.  Screw being tough.  Screw being Zen.  Screw punishing himself and worrying that face-to-face Jackie would kick him in the nuts.  He deserved to be kicked in the nuts.  

Oh god how many had he had?  He thought.  

"Too many" the bartender answered.  

Had he said that out loud?  Had he gone crazy?

"Short trip", the bartender again responded.  

Whoa, no more for him. 

"I'm cutting you off."  The psychic took his bottle and went back to the other non-drunk lovesick, heartbroken patrons.  

Hyde couldn't drive so he made his unsteady way to the pay phone.  Three rings and Eric answered the phone.  He could here Donna laughing in the background.  It made him miss Jackie more.  God did everything have too?

"Hello?" Eric's chipper voice said.

Hyde took a minute to find his voice and answered "Hey man.  How you doin?  Cause me man me I'm not so good."

"I'm hunky-dory.  So you are drunk."

Statement not a question. No flies on Eric.  "Yes.  I am drunk."  

"So where are you?"

"Casey's"

"I'll be there in ten."

Eight minutes later Eric was walking in the bar.  Good old Eric.  Good old never cheat on his girlfriend Eric.  A fresh wave of self-loathing jumped off Hyde and ricocheted off the scrawny boy's helping hands.  

"You suck". Hyde verbally attacked half-heartedly.

Eric looked confused but not offended.  He lifted Hyde's arm and started to lead him outside.  "O –Kay".

Hyde pulled out of his grasp and walked of his own accord.  "No No I suck.  I SUCK!" he shouted scaring some of the people in the parking lot.  "Why didn't I just tell her to come home man?  Why?  They told me – I was warned – I should have just listened."

Now Eric was beyond perplexed. He had a feeling this conspiracy didn't involve the government.  "Who man?  Who told you?"

"The music makers man.  The music.  It told me.  They are all about heartbreak.  About not trusting and drinking and…and… shotguns."

"Do you have a shotgun?" Eric asked looking around –panic mode.  

The hilarious look of terror on his friend's face alleviated some of the pain. He almost laughed before it returned.  "No man.  But I got the blues."

They got in the Vista Cruiser and Eric started driving towards his old home.  "So you are listening to Sonny Terry and Brownie McGee now?  So what happened?"

"What makes you think anything happened?"  he had admitted it to himself, but he wasn't sure he wanted to confess his sins to super-boyfriend.  Hell the guy had flown to California to get Donna back.  He wouldn't even pick Jackie up at the airport.  

"Well you don't usually turn to Southern Comfort for no reason?"

Was there a good reason?  Getting drunk wasn't going to solve his problems.  It wouldn't get Jackie back or make her call.  And it sure as hell didn't make him feel better.  "I don't think Jackie will be calling me anymore."

"Oh?  Well I think you underestimate Jackie."

Hyde looked up at that.  He knew he was drunk if Eric was complimenting Jackie.  "Man you don't know what I did."  

"What did you sleep with a slutty Doctor this time?" 

He got frogged for that one.  "No! Damn man – why don't you kick someone when they are down?"

"I'm sorry.  I'm just saying – she called you after you did just about the worst thing you could possibly do.  She called _a lot_.  She doesn't give up easy.  She loves you.  She'll call."  

Hyde sighed.  He leaned back in his seat and hoped that Eric was right. 


	8. This face

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer:  No That 70's coup yet.  Still not mine  
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit: Thanks everybody for reviewing Chapter 7.  I wasn't sure if a Jackie-less chapter was the way to go.  But the song and story demanded it.  You can't have country music without drinking.  I'm going to sober our boy up though.  He needs to be a man.  Don't worry in my world he will be.  Not yet though. This chapter is all about Jackie.    
  
Song Cred: Song 8, This Face.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
"I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable."   
                                                                                           -- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Only quitters quit" 

                                                                                          -- Red Eric's Burger Job

_This face is all I have_

_Worn and lived in_

_Lines below my eyes,_

_They're like old friends_

_And this old heart's been beaten up_

_My ragged soul it's had things rough_

_This face is all I have _

_Worn and lived in_

_The fairest, they can fall_

_Bored in believing_

_Something to achieve _

_This peaceful feeling_

_After all these tears are only truth_

_Your silver spoons can't dig up my roots _

_This face is all I have _

_Worn and lived in_

_Worn and lived in_

_Through the tides of time_

_Worn and lived in_

_This face of mine_

_Worn and lived in_

The reflection on the wall 

_Who needs to be the fairest of them all?_

Two days later Jackie was sitting on a barstool outside the Loco Madre hotel sipping a virgin Pina Colada and feeling sorry for herself.  Her arms were peeling, her face freckled and she hadn't talked to Steven in 3 days.  She felt like crap.  And she didn't know what to do.  

She was mad at Steven yes –but that wasn't why she hadn't called.  Her mother had run off with some investment banker she had met at the pool –leaving Todd the computer salesman high and dry.  He had paid their last phone bill and promptly checked out of the hotel.  Her mother who thought she was on to bigger and better things was somewhere in Bora Bora by now.  When she sobered up enough to remember Jackie and her Universal hair dryer (all she had left behind) she was sure she would get a phone call.  It would be short and sweet.  It would probably be limited to detailed instructions on the proper care and packaging of Air mailed beauty products.  She made a mental note to throw the precious dryer into the ocean.  God could things get any worse?

She felt old.  She felt tired.  She wondered which girl on the chess team she had made fun of to get her in this bad karma nightmare.  How in the span of 3 months had her world been turned inside out?  Shouldn't it take longer to ruin 16 years of privilege?  She missed being the pretty princess with no worries.  She missed living a life that's biggest concern was fall fashion and being in love with a doofus.  The new life she was living blowed.  She was stranded on a tropical shore –no money – no mother.  She was in love with a man too smart for her own good.  Yeah –he would thank his lucky stars one day for having her out of his life.  She had about decided she was bad luck.  

"So what has put such a sad puss on that pretty face?" the old bartender asked.  

He was a sweet old man that had been really nice to Jackie since she had gotten here.  He saw a lot of her mom and her gentlemen friends. That was enough for him to take pity on her.  

"Oh Zeke.  I don't even know where to start." She said pitifully.

"Well the beginning is always a logical place."

"I don't know if I have the energy to go back that far." She said thinking about last summer.  Was that the beginning?  Or did it go back to Veteran's Day?  Or the prom? Maybe it started the first time she walked into the basement.  Back when she was determined to belong in that group of people she soooo didn't belong with.  Back then Steven had been the epitome of that group.  Calm and carefree, cool and nonconforming –things Jackie Burkhart would never be.  

"You are too young to be so tired." He smiled.  He reminded Jackie of a grandfather in a movie.  He was gray and round and he had gentle eyes.  She couldn't remember her own grandfathers but she was sure they would have cared more about her than her parents.  

"Where has your momma been keeping to lately?" he continued when she didn't respond.  

She tried to deflect her eyes and opened her mouth for a lie but he stopped her with a look before she could.  He had obviously spent too much time studying human nature behind a bar to not spot a bad lie from ten paces.  

"She left with some new guy". She answered instead.

"And left you here alone?"

"I'm sure she didn't mean to..." she started but didn't have the heart to finish.  She was done lying to herself or others about her mother's motivation.  "She hasn't realized she left me yet.  I am not exactly priority one with her these days."  

"Well that is sad child.  But don't you be blamin yourself.  Some people just weren't meant to be mothers."

"Then why do they have children?"  Jackie asked not really expecting an answer.  Really there was a limit to the wise man's knowledge.

"Love.  Love will trick you child. Make you think you are capable of anything. Make you think you are more than you really are. Make you forget too."

"Love sucks." She laid her head on the bar. "I quit."

"No child you can't quit.  Love is all there is.  And it may trick but it will always do more good than harm.  You know anything about it?"

He could tell but she lied anyway.  "No."

"Your eyes tell a different tale".

She sighed.  "Fine.  Yeah, I'm in love.  Well - I love someone.  Fat lotta good it does me."

He laughed, actually laughed at her.  "What good have you done it?  Who is this boy?  That is good enough for my pixie girl?"

She smiled thinking of the proper words to describe Steven to a perfect stranger.  Someone he would never meet or know, they were easy to find.  "Well his name is Steven.  And he is one of those cool guys that act like nothing and no one can affect him.  He is all sarcastic and sneaky.  He has these conspiracy theories about everything –I mean don't even get him started on the government.  And he will act so mean –but no one thinks he is – because he can always be counted on.  You know?  Like you know that if you ever need anything –he would do whatever he could."

The old man just listened –so she kept going.

"And he is so funny.  And a good kisser.  And when he doesn't have those stupid sunglasses on his eyes are so expressive.  And his voice – his voice – I could just talk to him for hours.  Not that he talks much but…" she sighed.  She missed him so much.  But she had fought with him and not called and now….

"What?  Something stopped you.  What thought took all those daydreams outta your head?"

She had tears in her eyes when she spoke "I'm stuck here.  And I miss him.  And we had this fight the other night on the phone.  And now I can't call him to try to fix it.  Not that it was my fault or that I'm not mad at him.  I am.  I just want to talk to him anyway."

"You love him." He stated simply.  

"I do." She concurred.

"And love it is tricky.  It make you fight.  But it also make you make up."

"Why does it have to do both?" she asked sounding even to herself like a little girl again.  God –he was right.  Love made her feel infinitely old –but at the same time like the child this man saw her as.  

"Because it can- little one.  But like I said- it will balance out and then it will go further.  More good.  This boy he love you back?"

She looked doubtful.

"Course he do."

"How do you know?" she expected a comment about her beauty or personality.  But not his enigmatic smile.

"How don't you know?"

She looked confused.

"You sat right there and sung his praises.  You think he ain't singing yours?  Why you here anyway?  Not cause you missed your momma."

"He cheated on me." She said sadly

"Why?"

"Does it matter?" she raised her eyebrow shocked at the question.

"It always matters.  It might not explain or make it better but it matters.  If he did it because he don't care?

"No" she answered hesitantly.

"Because you don't?"

"NO!" adamantly. 

"Because he scared?" he said as if he already knew the answer.  Like they were just some soap opera couple he'd been watching on t.v. –easy to figure out and fix.  

"Yeah –he scared all right.  Cause maybe this cool boy, with his conspiracies ain't used to needin' a fiery girl like you."  

The look on her face must have conveyed more shock.  Maybe they were that easy to figure out. "Maybe."

He laughed again.  "Ain't no _maybes_ child.  He done wrong for sure.  But you are ready to forgive."

She laughed despite herself.  Was _this _his wisdom?  Something she _already knew_? She didn't need someday to tell her the way things were, she needed helping fixing the situation. "Yeah I know that.  But I'm kind of still stuck here.  I can't afford a phone call let alone a plane ticket.  What good is forgiveness?  When I'm here and he is there? "

He turned around at her words of exasperation.  Great- now she had pissed off her only ally.  _Friendless and forgotten_ sounded like a great country song.  But when he turned around she felt like singing a hymn not a ballad.  Her spirits soared.    

He placed the bar phone in front of her.  "Well forgiveness child – it is as good as love." 

A/N:  Only 4 more to go.   


	9. Don't fade away

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer:  Nothing's changed.    
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit:  Okay you guys have been mega patient what with these no J/H interaction chapters.  They are a thing of the past.  Thanks for liking Zeke (I think he is super myself).  He was a little Remy (The Big Easy), a little Captain Nemo (LXG), a little JRH (my brother).  But anyway please keep giving me feedback.  I'm running out of chapters now so I got to get this wrapped up.  I think I'm going to be sad to see this one go – I didn't think I would be.  But you guys have been so great and I really hope you continue to like it.  Hey if anybody has any quotes they think I should use send them to me –dancin_virginia@yahoo.com or put them in the review.  I'd appreciate it mucho.      
  
Song Cred: Song 9:  Don't Fade Away  
________________________________________________________________________

Things do not change.  We change.  

                                                                                                -Henry David Thoreau

Oh my poor little broody brood.  (Kitty laugh) You know when I first met you, you were such a cute little guy and now you're a great big guy.  With great big hair and great big problems.  My little broody brood.  

                                                                                                -Kitty

_When the world is crashing down_

And you're left alone on shaky ground 

_It seems like losing hope's _

_The only way to cope_

_But you can turn around and see_

_That every precious memory_

_Is still inside of you_

_Just let it shine on through_

_Don't fade away_

_Nothing's what it seems_

_You're lost and in between_

_But you'll find yourself again_

_Don't fade away_

_Hold on to your dreams_

_Through waves of suffering_

_The tide will turn again_

_Don't fade away_

_Don't fade away_

_Take your time and think it through_

_You've got everything in front of you_

_It's like a brand new page_

_Each and every day_

_All that you've seen_

_All that you've done_

_Don't say its over_

_You hold the key _

_Unlock the sun_

Hyde still felt hung over 2 days later.  He knew it had little to do with any lingering effects of alcohol and everything to do with the dead silence of the Forman household.  The phone had not rung, the dog had not barked and Kitty and Red had said very little to him because of it.  They all felt sorry for him and for once he welcomed the pity.  He felt sorry for himself.  Well he did when he wasn't hating himself.  

Forman had said that she would call.  He had believed him.  And even now he was worried as well as upset.  What if something had happened to her?  God knows with her mother anything was possible.  He sat on the sofa staring into blank space and listened –nothing.  It was as if he was the bionic man and his heightened sense of hearing could pick up everything.  Crickets outside – Bob taking out the trash next door – Red opening the garage fridge attempting to sneak a beer when Kitty wasn't looking – Kitty looking.  He could hear everything.  And nothing.  Silence, the horrible sound of the phone not ringing.  Didn't Jimmy Buffet write a song called _If the phone doesn't ring its me_?  Did that count as country? Hyde shut his eyes and willed himself not to notice something that was not happening.  And then it did.  The ring was violently loud in his ears.  He had the phone to his ear before the first chime ended.  

"Hello?" he asked hopeful.

Jackie on the other end was overjoyed at the tone.  He was happy to hear from her.  He missed her too.  She smiled at Zeke and he left her alone to the conversation.  

"Hey Steven."

He breathed in a sigh of relief.  He had missed her so much.  More even than he had at the beginning of the summer when he hadn't talked to her at all.  He had to tell her.  He had to swallow his damn pride for 10 seconds and make sure he didn't have to feel that feeling ever again.  

"God Jackie.  Don't ever do that to me again.  Call and yell at me – hell call and refuse to talk – just don't not call."  

She smiled.  He had really missed her as much as she missed him.  She wanted him to know she appreciated his un-Hyde like admission.  

"I love you Steven."

Suddenly the Forman house was full of silence again.  That was the last thing he expected.  He never really thought he would hear those words again.  Not because she didn't feel them –just because he hurt her and said it himself too late.  

"Say something Steven".  She demanded.  She knew he loved her but his silence was still frightening.  

He swallowed audibly.  "Come home".  

She gasped.  It was exactly what she wanted to hear.  Better than "I love you too".  Much preferred to "I'm sorry".  It was music to her ears.  And quite impossible.  She sighed.  

"What?  Now you don't want to come home?" he asked panicked, laughing to break his tension.  

She rushed to answer.  "No Steven that is not it.  Look, I was mad at you.  I was.  But that isn't why I didn't call."

"What you broke your dialing finger?" he joked.

She didn't know what to say.  Hey you remember how my mom sucks?  Yeah might as well tell the truth.  "Hey you remember how my mom sucks?"

He sat back on the sofa.  "Yeah?"

"Well she kind of broke up with the bill paying guy."

"Oh?" he was glad but at the same time pissed that he had went through 3 days of hell because of Jackie's lush mother.  

"Yeah and she met a new guy".

"And?" there was something she was leading up to.  

"And they left town.  I don't know where exactly.  The front desk guy just said that she took her luggage and ordered a cab for the airport."

He was floored.  How could she do that to Jackie?  How could anyone…he stopped himself when images of his own mother and father popped in his head.  "God Jacks – where are you?"

She knew he would understand.  He'd been through it himself.  Now he was in full Hero mode, trying to come up with some way to help her.  She hoped he could come up with something because she was fresh out of ideas.  "Well thank god and Todd –the hotel room is paid up through the end of the month.  But short of mom remembering me and getting her new toy to wire me some money for a plane ticket or me getting a job and saving for the rest of the summer – I'm screwed.  The only way I could even call you is to borrow the bar phone."

God this was all his fault.  If he had told her to come home a week ago –Todd would have paid and she would be back in his arms right now.  Where she belonged.  "This is all my fault."

She didn't argue.  A girl had to enjoy small victories.  She didn't want him feeling too bad though because she did love him.  "I could have come home anyway.  I could have never left."

"I could have trusted you." He added in a huff.  

She laughed.  "Yeah you could have.  But seriously –that bone has lost its flavor."

She was right it was time to let the self-recrimination go.  They had bigger problems now.  Like getting her home.  

"Maybe I could ask the Forman's for a loan?"

"What?  No.  I don't want you taking any money away from your college fund.  I can just get a job.  They need a waitress at the café at the hotel.  I'll make up some references and by….you know….November I'll have enough money to get home."  

She couldn't even lie –that was the dumbest plan ever.  Even if she flirted with every dirty old man in this Time Zone it would still take forever.  Nope –she needed her mother to call.  

"But Jacks you can't stay that long.  You have to get back for school.  Is there any old friend of your dad's that you can call?"

She racked her brain but couldn't think of anyone that hadn't already turned there back on her dad.  He'd been in prison for months exhausting his appeals.  If there was anyone still in his back pocket they weren't very useful.   

"Nope.  This is useless." She put her head by on the bar.  

He ran his hand through his hair.  "No.  Don't give up." He got them into this mess.  He would get them out.  "I'll figure out something."  

It was something to say, a declarative statement that could be proven false easily.  But she took comfort in it anyway.  They were talking again, sharing the burden of life, and that was all that mattered.  She hoped.    __

_A/N:  Hey guys, I have an apology.  I usually try to stay pretty accurate to era –but I couldn't this time.  The reference to the Jimmy Buffett song –If the phone doesn't ring it's me –that song was on a 1985 album called Last Mango in Paris.  Jimmy could have written it in the 70's and Jimmy Buffett was certainly a figure in music in the 70s (although Bob would have listened to him more than Hyde) but he didn't.  I just wanted to reference it.  Oh well Kelso is so starting to have 80's hair so I can be a little out of era (ooe) if I want.  Ha!  Sorry.  _

_And also I just wanted to say that the conflict is not over –the big reunion not definite –so keep reading please.  _


	10. Time after Time

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer:  Haven't gotten that free 70's show character coupon in the mail yet. I'm waiting patiently.   
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit:  Forgot about me yet?  Yeah sorry about the hold up.  I've been busy with all my other obsessions.  But now I'm back to J/H.  I need to thank **Starlight** and **Kashmir** for the lovely quotes.  And for being supportive and enjoying the fic.  If anybody has thought of any new ones I still have 2 chapters left.   
  
Song Cred: Song 10:  Time after Time.  Yes Willie did a cover of the Cyndi Lauper tune.  It is the strangest thing.  He slows it up to countrify it.    
________________________________________________________________________

The way I see it, you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.  

                                                                                                -Dolly Parton

"But I noticed you're alone a lot.  And I'm alone a lot.  So let's be alone together.  Look, we're alone right now.    

                                                                                                -Jackie   _Kelso's Serenade_

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,

And think of you

Caught up in circles

Confusion –is nothing new

Flashback, warm nights,

almost left behind

Suitcase of memories

Time after

Sometimes you picture me 

I'm walking too far ahead

You're calling to me,

I can't hear what you've said

Then you say, go slow, 

I fall behind

The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look

And you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you 

I'll be waiting

Time after time

After my picture fades and

Darkness has turned to gray

Watching through windows

You're wondering if I'm okay

Secrets stolen from deep inside

The drum beats out of time

You said, go slow

I fall behind 

The second hand unwinds

Lying in his simple bed Steven Hyde thought about all the things he had done in his life.  He believed that things usually worked out in the end.  But that theory was being tested now.  As he lay he thought about the events of the past year.  He didn't make a habit of regret.  Up until his transgression with the nurse he didn't have much reason to.  And he didn't regret his latest actions either.  Nope, there comes a time in every man's life where he has to make a decision.  And his had come.  

When Jackie told him that she loved him, only to follow it up with the bomb of her entrapment in paradise he thought he would die from the roller coaster emotions running through his body.  He'd been so convinced she wasn't going to forgive him.  Twice.  But she had.  And now she was there alone – and he was alone here.  And they had not been able to come up with any solutions between them.  

She wouldn't let him ask the Forman's for some of his college fund.  He knew Kitty would do it in a heartbeat, but Jackie had been adamant.  He didn't really have that much money himself.  He'd been giving all his money to Red since the beginning of the summer as a sort of savings account.  He didn't trust banks.  But now he couldn't get the money without telling Red what it was for.  And thereby breaking his promise to Jackie by getting the Forman's involved.  But he didn't know what to do.  He couldn't handle much more of her waiting tables –coming back to the hotel late and extremely tired and barely getting a whole sentence out before she was nodding off.  It had only been a week but he was missing the conversation.  

He wanted to talk to her without the use of modern technology.  He wanted to hold her and touch her and see her.  So his need had compelled him to do something he would never do normally.  Something he hoped Jackie wouldn't be mad at him for doing.  She hadn't told him not too.  Because she never would have thought he'd do it.  But it was done.  And now all he had to do was wait for the call.

Jackie delivered the 5th cup of coffee to the honeymooning couple that refused to go home.  She had thought she was going to get off early tonight because the place was dead.  But then they had showed up.  With there happy faces and their kissy eyes and she just wanted to throw something at them.  How dare they be happy?  How dare they be with the one they love? 

She thought about Steven at home, probably listening to his music in the basement waiting for her to call.  She had called last night and was so tired she didn't even have the energy to talk.  They had sat there for about 5 minutes (all they could afford if she was ever getting home) in silence except for the radio in the background.  She had asked him why he was still listening to the country –since they were back together.  And he had told her that country was about missing as much as it was about losing.  

She wished the café played something besides beach music.  She certainly had enough peppy with the customers.  She sat down at the barstool and waited for the next refill.  At this rate they would close down the place.  Just then Kenny the café chef, another import from the States, came around the corner with the phone.  

"Jackie!" he shouted unnecessarily stretching the cord to reach her spot at the bar.  "You have a phone call."

She was shocked.  And excited.  Was it Steven had he figured out a way to get her home?  She took the receiver out of Kenny's outstretched hand and placed it tentatively to her ear. "You better not have asked the Forman's" she started without even saying hello.

"Jackie?" a strange voice asked.

"Yeah?" she responded still not recognizing the caller.  Then something clicked.  But why the hell would he be calling her?  How did he even know she was here? "Michael?"

"Yeah, it's me.  How you been?" he asked.

She didn't know what this was about but she certainly didn't feel like talking to him.  The last thing she wanted to hear was how much he loved her and how much he knew she still loved him.  She didn't.  "Look, Michael – how did you even get this number?"

There was dead silence for a few seconds then a hesitant reply.  "Hyde gave it to me".

WHAT?  Steven would never have done that.  Why would he have ever done that? Now that she thought about it she realized Steven couldn't call her. He didn't even know the number.  She wouldn't give it to him so he wouldn't call and spend the Forman's money.  Curiosity got the best of her and she asked "How and why and…" this was way weird "and why again?"  

Michael cleared his throat and explained.  "Well see, Hyde told me about your situation Jackie.  And I wanted to help.  So he went to the prison and saw your dad and got the names of some hotels your mom stays at sometimes.  And then he called them all to see which one you were staying at.  Then he gave me the number.  It is like we are Columbo.  Like that episode where the guy kills his secretary and"

"MICHAEL?" she interrupted.  

"Yeah?"

"How do you plan to help?  I mean why would Steven have even thought you could help.  And why would you want to if you know that I've been talking to him?" she was so confused.  

He sighed, sounding much less shallow with that simple expression of feeling than he had ever with his actions or words.  "Jackie, I know I did a lot of stuff in the past to hurt you.  And I know that I have a part in what Hyde did to you too.  But I hope you know that –that doesn't mean I didn't care about you.  I still do."

Here it was, she was going to have to break his heart from across an ocean.  "Michael?"

"Yeah?" he said as if he already knew what was coming.

"I choose Steven." She said apologetically.  She never really wanted to hurt him.  She wished she could go back and do the whole thing differently.  Then she wouldn't be here.  

Michael interrupted her self-pity with his next comment "I know.  I mean it is kinda obvious.  You spent the whole summer talking to him and you didn't call me once.  But you know I'm not surprised."

Well she was –at this new and improved Michael attitude.  Maybe they had all grown up over the summer.  "You're not?"

He laughed.  "No, I'm not.  You would have never left if you didn't love him."

"Huh?"

"You never left me."

Now Jackie was really confused.  "What are you talking about?"  

He explained.  "Well there was plenty of times that we had fights or we broke up and you could have left.  Went away for the weekend or even stopped coming to the basement for a few days.  But you never did.  Because you never really trusted me I guess –so I never really hurt you that bad."

"You hurt me plenty Michael" she informed, but thought about his logic anyway.  She never really had trusted him.  He was such a fun loving guy she always knew that she could lose him.  

"I know.  But not like Hyde." 

That offended her "Are you trying to make me regret my decision.  Because it won't work I've for…"

"You've forgiven him. I know.  I'm glad.  As long as we are all still friends?"

She relaxed.  New Kelso could be something she could get used too.  "Yeah friends sounds nice."

He coughed again and continued "So friend –lets talk about getting you home."  

Oh yeah she had forgotten this whole weird conversation was happening because Steven for some reason had enlisted the help of Michael in Operation Come Home Jackie.  "And how are you going to help in that?"  

"Well I have money," he stated.  

"Since when?" she accused.  

"Since my parents paid me to go to college instead of Cop School." He defended.

"You mean they gave you money for college?" she shook her head.  Life would be really good about now if she was still shallow Jackie.  She could take everyone's money.  "Michael I'm not going to let you use your college money any more than I would let Steven."

"No, no, no.  It isn't my college money.  It is like a bonus.  A bribe as you Burkhart's would put it." 

She laughed, "Was that a burn?  Did you just burn me?"  They must be friends now.  

"Yeah, anyway – are you coming home or not?"  

One day life was going to quit surprising her.  She hoped it wasn't anytime soon. 

"Okay –where is the nearest Western Union?"  


	11. Recollection Phoenix

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer:  Willie Nelson is mine.  Mine!….oh wait –what would I do with a really old stoner?  Never mind.  Love his music but…I also don't own That 70's show.     
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit:  OMG!  Can you believe this is the second to last chapter?  I can't believe this started out as an exercise to purge my writer's block (all my old college Profs would be proud).  I'm _so glad_ you all like it.  I hope it ends the way you hope. (Okay that made it sound like I might do something crazy – I won't).  But anyway thanks again to **Starlight** for the random quote and my girl **Kashmir** for the show quote.  You guys really are the greatest.  Still have one more chapter if anyone else would like to be great too.     
  
Song Cred: Song 11:  Recollection Phoenix – Another song written by Matchbox Twenty's Rob Thomas.  Has anyone noticed how huge a fan of Rob Thomas I am?  And I guess Willie is too.  

  The simple lack of her is more to me than others' presence 

                                                                                           -Edward Thomas

"Steven is almost a man and he needs to meet a girl who will help him find his way."

-Kitty  
  


Recollection Phoenix

It's funny how the miles 

Get into me though

I wonder how the earth moves

I wonder what my baby thinks of me-o

Recollection L.A.

Wondering who it is I'm supposed to be-o

Tourist at the roadside

High on souvenirs and cappuccinos

But I think I get it

I think I understand

It's all about hope

And where you go when you get it

I think I get it

I think my heads on straight

And I think (he) knows

Hell, there goes my secret

Recollection Phoenix

I wonder how the hell did I get older

My mind still on my woman

I wonder what she thinks of when I hold her

Yeah, judging by the silence

You might think the road has 

Made her colder

But I can't live without her

And I can't remember if I ever told her

The menu offered Chicken Cordon Bleu or Prime rib (two dishes she was sure coach should never attempt to master), the man beside her was snoring and some where on this flying coffin a baby was crying.  Jackie had never been happier in her life.  

They had just taken off from Arizona, her second layover, and she was finally on her way home.  She was tired but ready.  It had been a summer of soul searching.  It was a summer for figuring out who she was and who she wanted to be.  And now she knew.  

Jackie Burkhart wanted to be the kind of girl who forgives.  She wanted to be happy.  And she wanted to embrace love, no matter how flawed. She laughed -that was a far cry from the girl she used to be.  That girl wanted to be spoiled.  She never wanted to have anything to forgive. She wanted love to embrace her.  She wanted –no expected -love to go out of its way to be easy and perfect.  She had been so silly to think that it would do that for her when it never did that for anybody.  

But the girl on the plane with the tan and the smile was different.  Jackie sat back in her seat, glancing at the man beside her and thought of Steven.  What was he doing right now?  What song was playing on the radio?  What concert tee did he have on?  Was he mad about having to ask Kelso for help?  

Okay that last thought was a bummer.  She had the whole vision in her head.  Steven was sitting on the couch, where they had spent the previous summer in make-out bliss, wearing the Ted Nugent shirt.  That shirt was so thread bear it was almost see-thru and Jackie had always fantasized of ripping it off of him.  She wondered how mad that would make him.  Maybe she would try.  But anyway-he was sitting there listening to George Jones' _He stopped loving her today_ (Kenny, the chef –from Georgia –had told her that was a great country song about a guy who dies and then the woman he had lost and pined for his whole life comes to the funeral).  He looked so lonely and beautiful in her dream.  And then she had to go and think of Michael.  

But she couldn't help but wonder.  She hadn't talked to him since her deal with her ex.  But he had been the one to find the Western Union and had told Kelso to tell her to go right then.  He wanted her on the next plane and if that was going to happen she had to pack and leave pronto.  So she had.  So that left her wondering. 

He had been willing to do anything to get her home.  He had visited her dad in prison for goodness sake.  He had told her he loved her again and again.  So why was the wondering?  Why was she worried?  They were back together.  But Jackie knew that until she was in his arms and kissing him again this still wasn't over.  The horizon loomed in the distance and so did the future of Jackie and Steven.  

Steven felt old, sitting on this couch wearing an old ratty t-shirt and missing his woman.  He felt like a character in some old movie, or some song.  Kelso had called about 3 hours ago and told him that Jackie was on her way.  And the relief that flooded through him was immediate and humiliating.  If someone had told him four years ago that he would be depending on Michael Kelso and in love with Jackie Burkhart he would have punched them in the throat.  This new person he had become was only grateful.  Oh how the mighty have fallen.  

Steven felt himself closing his eyes and trying to conjure the image of Jackie in his head. It had been almost three months since he saw her.  Did she look the same?  Better?  He didn't know if his heart could take that.  She had promised him freckles.  She had complained about them for a week solid.  And he just knew they were going to be cuter than kittens at Christmas.  Oh god now he was thinking about kittens.  He was a wuss.  If Jackie didn't come home soon he was going to start quoting Star Wars and overusing hand gestures.        

Yeah the freckles were going to be hot.  He wondered if she would let him…well he wondered if she would let him do a lot of things.  They were back together.  But that didn't mean they could jump right back into heavy caresses and freckle kissing.  It had been three months and he couldn't help but worry about how comfortable they were going to be in each other's presence.  He stopped short of full-blown panic though –because he had promised himself and Jackie that he was past self-recrimination.  He may not deserve her but he wanted her.  And she wanted him.  And that was enough to make him realize that they had another chance.  

He smiled and again laid his head back putting his hands behind his head.  He was going to do it right this time.  So whatever distance -distance had put between them they could overcome.  Somewhere in the sky his girl was coming home.      

Somewhere in the sky Jackie saw her sleeping neighbor get up and walk to the back of the airplane.  He spoke to a stewardess and then she handed him a phone.  He talked for a second and then came back to his seat.  Jackie gave him her best helpless little girl look and asked. "Do you think they would let me use the phone?"

The businessman fell for the look without resistance.  "Why little lady, I don't see why not.  Come on do you want me to ask them for you?"

"Oh would you?" she pleaded, clapping with excitement.  

"Sure, come on."  

They made their way to the back of the plane scooting past another stewardess who didn't seem so excited about passengers just wandering about.  Jackie didn't care.  What ever it took to get to the phone.  

"Mam, could I borrow the phone again?" her would be hero asked. 

This stewardess smiled and handed him the phone again "Just keep it short like the last one please. You really should get back to your seat.  We could experience turbulence and you wouldn't want to go jostling around back here."

He nodded and then handed Jackie the phone.  She dialed the number.  Three rings in he answered.  

"Hello?" he said casually.  He wasn't expecting to hear from her until she touched ground.  

"Steven!" she exclaimed.  

"Jackie?  What the hell, are you home already?  Kelso didn't say you would be back until like 6."  

"I'm not home.  I'm on the airplane."

God leave it to Jackie to not even let a little thing like extreme altitude to stop her from calling.  "The plane?"

"Yeah." She glanced at the patient but staring flight attendant "Look I can't talk that long –I just wanted to call and say …. Well thank you and I love you and I can't wait to get home."  She blurted giggling like a little girl.

He smiled, suddenly at ease "Yeah I wanted to say the same thing."

Her grin was huge.  The businessman returned it.  "Okay well I better go – I'll call you when I get to the airport."

"Why don't I just meet you there" he rushed to get out before she hung up.  

She shrugged. "Why don't you?"  She didn't know why they hadn't thought of that before.  

"Okay well I'll see you in a couple of hours then." Steven said.

"I can't wait."

But she would have too.  She hung up the phone and thanked the kindness of these strangers.  In 2 hours she would be home.  

A/N:  Okay –the next one is the big finale.  Please tell me what you think.  Or tell me what you want or anything.  I'll love you forever.   


	12. You Remain

Title: 12 songs by Willie Nelson  
  
Disclaimer:  I don't own Willie Nelson.  His 12 songs.  Or that 70's show.     
  
Summary: Jackie's summer alone turns into a summer on the phone with the man that she just can't seem to leave behind.   
  
Credit:  Well here you go.  The last chapter.  It was like a great New Year's Party and now this is the last guest to stumble into a cab and go home.  Now I have to go pass out on my couch and sleep it off.  Hope you guys enjoyed yourself and there wasn't too much garlic salt in the cheese ball.  Thanks and mega watt smiles to **Starlight** and **Kashmir** –_AGAIN_ – because I love them.  And they keep delivering with the quotes.  Thanks for reading and reviewing **everybody**.  I really appreciate it.  Thank you –Thank you – Thank you!      
  
Song Cred: Song 12.  You Remain.  This is a duet with Bonnie Raitt.  The song is a little sad.  But that won't affect our final chapter. 

Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blow up the bonfire.   
                                                                                     - François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

"It's true. I love Steven Hyde. And some day he'll love me. And he'll cut off those stupid sideburns and we'll live happily ever after."

                                                                                                          - Jackie (MOPP)

What do you do with the sands of time?

When they care out lines around your eyes 

I can close my fist up good and tight

But I can't hold back the sands of time

What do you do with a memory?

That just hangs around and stares at me

I can tear that frame down off the wall

But it won't erase the things I saw

Night and day

Night and day

You remain

You remain

What do you do with old regrets?

There's a box full underneath the bed

Just close enough not to forget

But what do you do with old regrets

There's an old house key

In the kitchen drawer

To a door I can't unlock no more

Sometimes I hold that key real tight

But what do you do after goodbye?

Night and day

Night and day

You remain

Steven Hyde paced in front of the big glasses windows leading out unto the landing strip about 30 miles outside of Point Place, Wisconsin.  Jackie's flight had been delayed by the weather.  Apparently the pilot had to steer off course to avoid a bad front somewhere near Illinois.  So he had been pacing for about thirty minutes and now he was worried again. Not because of the reunion but for Jackie's safety.  

Oh god!  If she ever got her feet back on the ground he was never letting her out of his sight again.  This was bullshit.  The waiting, the worrying, and that look the other people at the airport kept giving him.  Some old lady had flat out asked him whom he was so anxiously waiting for.  He had told her his girlfriend, and she had smiled knowingly.  

He checked his watch for the 30th time.  And it revealed it was two minutes later than the last time he checked.  He glanced over at the woman working the info booth and began to walk over there again for the 15th time.  When she picked up the phone and used the paging function to inform the whole airport the answer to his question.  

"Flight Number 12 from Arizona is now unloading.  Flight number 13 will be boarding momentarily.  Sorry for the inconvenience."  She then slammed the phone down and took a break.  

Hyde didn't think he'd been that annoying.  He turned around to face the doors wear passengers unloaded.  He stood there empty handed suddenly fidgeting.  He had resisted the romantic compulsion to get her flowers or a banner or something because lets face it he wasn't that guy.  But now he wished he had brought something –just so he wouldn't feel so stupid here doing nothing.  What could he do?  Cross his arms and look like he was pissed?  Put his hand in his back pocket and look bored?  What was the appropriate look for _I haven't seen the girl I love in 3 months because I cheated on her and she ran away but now we are back together_?  Did such a stance exist?  In the end he compromised –putting his hands in his front pockets and looking Zen.  

The passengers on first class began to file out and he briefly wished things were the way they used to be and that Jackie's money could have gotten her home.  He was sure Coach was as big as a change for her as asking Kelso for help was to him.  Soon they were letting out and Hyde found himself angling his head above the crowd looking for the tiny pixie.  A lot of people were on this plane, a lot of tall people and they were getting on his nerves.  Stupid Giants.  Where the hell was Jackie?

Jackie felt the plane land.  And heard the Pilot tell them they could take off their seat belts.  She was so relieved.  That delay had almost killed her.  And the last thing she wanted, now that she knew Steven was at the airport, was to keep him waiting.  To keep herself waiting.  She had waited long enough.  As the members of first class got off the plane Jackie felt a momentary sting of self-pity.  She'd be in Steven's arms right now if she was still rich.  But she had found that Coach wasn't that bad.  The people were nice.  Jackie looked to the businessman beside her.  

"He'll still be there when you get off." He assured.  Jackie smiled.  She had been telling him about her and Steven since they had gotten off the phone.  

"I know, I know.  I'm just so ready to see him." She explained leaning around to see what the hold up was.  

"Well come on" he said getting up as there section began to gather their things.  He let her in front of him.  She got off right behind a guy who looked like he could be a Sumo wrestler.  Jackie huffed in frustration as he took his sweet time.  And just when she was about to say something –her friend the businessman steered her around him.  They ducked behind a family of six and came around behind the Information booth.  Jackie searched the crowd for Steven.  She found him quickly.  She took a moment to soak in the sight of him and enjoy the fact that he seemed to be searching for her impatiently.  

God she had missed him.  On some level she registered the goodbye nice to meet you her friend from the airplane offered but the rest of her was too happy to even respond.  She was home.  She quietly ran the last couple of steps keeping her from him and tapped him on the shoulder.  

"Hey baby, stop looking you found me." She said in her most flirty voice.  

Steven whirled around hands still in his pockets.  How the hell had she snuck up on him?  He looked at her and was not prepared.  God was she always this beautiful?  Had he really spent the entire previous summer and most of the school year with someone this gorgeous in love with him?  Was that really love shining in her eyes again now?  "Oh god Jackie I missed you" he spat out removing his hands and reaching down to envelope her in his arms.  

Jackie thought she might die.  Maybe she already had.  This better be what heaven feels like.  Steven had his head in the crook of her neck and his arms were clutched near the base of her spine.  Nothing had ever felt more right.  She threw her arms around his neck almost crawling up his body trying to press her entire length against him and –damn it she couldn't help it – began to cry.  He had not been the only one who had thought this was never going to happen again.  At the beginning of the summer she had been convinced she could never forgive him.  And she mourned the loss of his arms as much as his trust.  God how could she have ever thought she could live without this?  

Hyde felt her begin to cry and for once he didn't try to stop her.  He wanted her to cry enough happy tears for the both of them.  Because standing here with everything he could have lost he finally realized what he had gained.  He pulled back only slightly so he could look her in the face.  There he saw tears and love and freckles.  He smiled.  He didn't have his sunglasses on so he hoped she could see how true his next statement was going to be.  "Jackie I love you so much."

Then he saw it and she felt it.  How that statement was supposed to be said.  They'd both pretty much tainted their first declarations of love.  But this, this was perfect.  

Jackie smiled "I love you too." 

And then there was no more need for words.  They had spoken enough.  No more waiting, no more country music and no more phones.  Now was the time for having, and silence, and kissing.  

Jackie felt Steven's lips before they even touched hers.  The memories flooded her and she was so glad he was holding her because they were a lot more powerful with the real thing right in front of her, and she just might have collapsed under the sway.  

Hyde felt completely out of control.  He knew her lips like the back of his hand, could probably tell you how many teeth she had from first hand exploration, but 3 months without her had turned him into a ravenous novice.  He wanted to relearn every part of her.  And he didn't really care if he had to start in this airport.  

After about 10 solid minutes of touching and assuring each other that they indeed were both here and back together and all moved on, they broke apart for air.  Jackie still had tears in her eyes and Hyde had developed a knot in his stomach from all the need.  

She smiled up at him, touching his face –newly shaven – "I'm so glad I'm home."

He sighed enjoying the touch.  He leaned down kissing her nose.  "I'm glad your home too.  And I love your freckles."

She laughed, squirming away from him and grabbing her bag.  She wasn't gone long though.  She snuggled into his side and pulled them in the direction of the luggage pick-up.  "Oh god, they are horrible.  I just want to scrub them all off."

He followed –grabbing the carry-on bag from her.  "Oh I think I could come up with better things to do to them."

She smirked, but silently planned on taking him up on the offer.  If absence made the heart grow fonder she must have really really missed him. 

They reached the baggage carousel and Steven grabbed all her luggage.  He made fun of her extravagance and she hit him.  She was so glad things could go back to normal.  For the first time she felt like they had a clean slate.  

When they got out to the car Steven opened the door for her and she got in.  She was surprised that even here none of the bad feeling reemerged.  She didn't need to see her smile to know it was huge.  Steven got in the car and started it up.  

"So what do you want to do now?" he meant, did she want to go to Donna's or her house or if he was really lucky the basement.  But chuckled at Jackie's response.

"Bowling?," she joked, referencing their first date.

God that night seemed like a thousand years ago.  The summers between then and now had seen to that.  He was pretty sure he had loved her then.  He wondered briefly how differently things would have been if he had admitted it.  It would have been different, maybe less painful, but he couldn't regret the way things had turned out.  This was where he wanted to be.  

Jackie smiled at Steven's contemplative look.  She wondered if he was remembering that night the way she did.  She knew even then that if she was with Steven things were going to be serious.  That is why she had denied her feelings.  But she was ready now.  

Hyde saw the same look on Jackie's face he knew was on his.  He reached over placing his hand palm up on the seat between them and pulled out of the parking lot.  "Well – I'm not opposed to doing it".  He began.

She closed the distance, twining her fingers with his "Take me home you pig." She continued.

Hyde laughed feeling happier than he had ever felt in his life and finished the dance they had started all those years ago.  "Yes dear."  

A/N:  Hey again everybody!  Thanks so much for reading.  I'm dedicating this one to all the guys on Fan Forum whose favorite episode is **Jackie bags Hyde**.  If you don't get the last part –go read a transcript for that episode or watch it again if you have it.  It is a wonderful J/H fantabulous episode!   

Long live Willie Nelson and J + H Forever!         


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